Kaaradaiyan Nombu

Courtesy: http://kshetrapuranas.blogspot.in/search/label/Tales%20from%20the%20Mahabharatha

Every year, when the Tamizh month of Maasi (Kumbha/Aquarius) gives way to the divine month of Panguni (Meena/Pisces), the ever-dutiful married women of India prepare for one of the most important vrathaas on their calendar- The Kaaradayaan Nonbu. Also known as the Sati Savithri Nonbu, the vrathaa is a common observance in many of the Brahmin families of South India. On this day, the women folk gather together and pray for the single most important boon in their life- the long lives of 'their' gods (read -Husbands). In observing the vrathaa, they follow the rituals that were carried out eons ago by Savithri, their heroine and role model - a heroine who was caught in a very grave situation.

The story of Savithri is mentioned in the Vana Parva (Book of Forests) of the Mahabharatha. It is narrated by Markandeya Maharishi to Yudhishtira when the latter, extremely astonished by the chastity and bravado of Draupadi, asks the former about any other 'Stree' (Lady) who could be so chaste and exalted.

अस्ति सीमंतिनी काचिदृष्टपूर्वाथ वा श्रुता

पतिव्रता महाभागा यथेयं द्रुपदात्माजा ||

"Hast thou ever seen or heard of such a

Chaste or exalted lady, as the daughter of Drupada?"

The aged King of Madra, Ashvapathi, though a just, generous and pious ruler, was however not blessed with an issue. Extremely worried about the future state of his Prajaas (citizens), Ashvapathi performed grand sacrifices to the Goddess Savithri (the wife of Savitr – the Sun) every day for eighteen long years. Extremely pleased with his intense devotion, Savithri emerged from the sacrificial fire and granted Ashvapathi the boon of having a divine daughter. Though Ashvapathi had prayed for a son, he gladly accepted this gift from the goddess and returned home. In due course, the queen Malavi conceived and gave birth to a baby girl who shone with the brightness of Shri Lakshmi herself. Since, she was begotten by the blessings of the goddess; she was named Savithri in her honour.

Savithri grew into a beautiful princess, with much learning and knowledge of the Vedas, shastras and other worldly affairs. Overcome by the burning splendor that always enveloped her, no suitor came asking for her hand in marriage, no prince fell in love with her. Ashvapathi grew extremely worried at the woes that surrounded his happy daughter

One day, not being able to take it anymore, he summoned her to his chambers and poured out his worries. "Savithri, you have now come of age and need to be given in marriage to a person who would be able to protect you and this kingdom after my time. You are beautiful, yes, but yet my heart worries about finding a fitting suitor for you. I fear that I may marry you off to the wrong person. Have you not heard the twice-borns chanting :

अप्रदाता पिता वाच्यो वाच्यश्चानुपयंपतिः

मृते भर्तरि पुत्रश्च वाच्यो मातुररक्षिता ||"

"The father who marries off not his daughter,

The husband who knows not his wife in season,

The son who takes care not of his widowed mother,

Disgrace shall fall upon these people full of sin"

Hearing her father's anxious words, Savithri knelt beside the King and taking his hands into hers, she said, "Father, if it is not a problem for you, I would like to select my future husband on my own. Please grant me permission to do the same. I am sure that I will find one who will be a loving 'Bharta' and the best of kings"

Ashvapathi was relieved, "Then I will call for the grandest Swayamvara ever. You can choose from the best of princes from across the country" he said, beaming at his daughter

.

Savithri, however immediately cut him off, "No Swayamvara father, I will find him on my own. You must stop worrying about me and concentrate more on the affairs of the State." The king reluctantly consented to his daughter's wish and let the matter into her own hands

One day Savithri was roaming in the forests adjoining her father's kingdom when a strange sight met her eyes. A man, strong and well built, with all Kshatriya lakshanas was walking along the forest path with two baskets hanging from a stick that was balanced on his muscled shoulders. In one basket sat an old man, and in the other an old woman, presumably the wife of the old man - strange indeed.

Driven by curiosity, she confronted the man. "Who may you be Sir, walking in this thick forest with two other old people?" The man set his baskets down and replied "I am Sathyavan and they are my parents in the baskets. They are blind and cannot walk. So I carry them this way. I live in an aashrama on the other side of the forest and was going there when you stopped me. Who are you, may I know?". "I am Savithri, the daughter of the King Ashvapathi.", she replied and all of a sudden she blushed and ran away, leaving Sathyavan truly confused.

At King Ashvapathi's palace, a heated discussion soon followed. "Father, I am marrying Sathyavan. So what if he is a forest dweller? I am sure he would take good care of me. He was so devoted to his parents. I was in love with him from the very first sight", Savithri pleaded. The king was furious, "I am not letting you marry him. You don't even know his kula or gothra. What if he is not a kshathriya at all?"

At that moment, a palace informer came to the King's chambers and announced the arrival of Narada, the celestial sage. The king immediately arose from his seat and welcomed Narada with all due respects. "We are blessed to have you here, Oh Devarishi! May we know the purpose of your fortunate visit?"

Narada, with that familiar twinkle in his eye, looked up at Ashvapathi and said "I heard that your daughter is of marriageable age, Ashvapathi. Whom have you selected to marry her off to?"

Ashvapathi's joy knew no bounds "Oh Devarishi, we were just discussing it out. My daughter seems to be adamant on marrying this one Sathyavan, who happens to be a forest dweller. I am hardly able to talk sense into her. If your holiness could get the idea out of her head, I would forever be grateful."

Narada shook his head "Ashvapathi, your daughter has made an excellent choice. Sathyavan is a Kshathriya by birth. He is one of the most learned and intelligent princes ever. He is the son of Dyumatsena, a Shalva and the erstwhile monarch of a prosperous kingdom. In energy he is like Surya an in learning he matches Brihaspati. He is brave like Indra, as handsome as the Ashvini Kumaras and a forgiving as mother Earth herself. Unfortunately, his father lost the kingdom to some evil conquerors, who took advantage of his untimely blindness, and now here he is, in your forests, serving his parents with complete devotion in spite of all the difficulties."

The king's face bloomed with joy on hearing this. He ran to tell Savithri the good tidings and brought her along with him to get Narada's blessings. "Bless me with a long and happy married life, Devarishi", asked Savithri and prostrated before him. Narada, however, remained silent.

"Why the loaded silence, Thavasreshta?" asked Ashvapathi, anxiety edging back into his voice all of a sudden.

"Savithri, though I am beyond sure that your married life with Sathyavan will be extremely happy, I am doubtful if it will be for long. He is cursed to die in one year from the day you marry him.", said Narada, his voice full of pain

Savithri was shocked at this sudden revelation, but was quick enough to recover. "Father, I am not going back on my decision. Make all arrangements for my marriage with Sathyavan." She said with a touch of finality.

सकृदंशो निपतति सकृत् कन्या प्रदीयते ।

सकृदाह ददानीति त्रीण्येतानि सतां सकृत् ||

"Death can fall only once, a daughter can be given away only once,

And only once can a person say – 'I give away'. These three happen but once" - Manusmriti

And so Savithri married Sathyavan amidst much pomp and colour (the tinge of anxiety in the King's mood was overlooked as the traditional sadness that accompanies the marriage of a dear daughter). Savithri moved into the aashrama with Sathyavan and started her duties towards her in-laws. Devoid of any rich attires and ornaments, she covered herself with dyed tree barks and tended the aashrama with love and care. So engrossed and devoted was she in her duties to her in-laws, that she even surpassed Sathyavan in his service towards the old couple. She started getting accustomed to the forest way of life and bore all the difficulties with cheer. And most importantly, she observed the vrathaa that Narada had preached to her before she had married Sathyavan. Every morning, for three days prior to the destined doomsday, she invoked Gowri, the divine mother, asking her to bless Sathyavan with a long life. She made simple adais as the Naivedhya and ate them alone for her everyday meal. Though the aged Dyumatsena constantly worried at the hardship that Savithri was enduring through the vow, he gave her his complete blessings for the successful completion of the vrathaa. Slowly and steadily, the year passed by and that fateful day dawned, sunny and bright.

As usual, Sathyavan left early in the morning for cutting wood. Knowing that the day had arrived, Savithri decided to go with Sathyavan, whatever maybe the outcome. With humility, she sought her father-in-law's permission to accompany Sathyavan to the woods. Pleased with his daughter-in-law's first request in over a year, the dethroned king gladly gave her his acceptance. And so Savithri and Sathyavan set off along the forest paths, with Sathyavan showing his wife the little wonders of nature and Savithri carefully watching him in his changing moods, the words of Narada echoing loudly in her ears.

They cheerfully gathered fruits and berries for food and finally Sathyavan got down to the hard task of cutting the tall trees and making logs out of them. He hacked and sawed and cut ceaselessly. Soon the noon day sun was scorching on his back and all of a sudden, he fainted and fell onto the forest floor.

Savithri, whose mind had been uneasy with her own calculation of the destined hour, immediately ran towards him. Picking up his head, she gently placed it on her lap and tried to revive him. His pulse was shallow and he was sweating profusely. Savithri sent up quick prayers to Gowri and continued to tap Sathyavan on his cheeks.

Suddenly, a dark shadow fell upon them. Looking up, Savithri beheld a terrible sight. There stood Yama, with his buffalo by his side. Strong and powerfully built, with a thick moustache and a dark skin, Yama was frightening enough. Add to that, the long noose and the almighty mace, the sight is enough to make a person faint from fear (and perhaps that is the whole point).

मुहूर्तादिव चापश्यत्पुरुषं पीतवाससं

बद्धमौलिं वपुष्मन्तमादित्यसमतेजसम् ||

श्यामावदातं रक्ताक्षं पाशहस्तं भयावहं

स्थितं सत्यवतः पार्श्वे निरीक्षन्तं तमेव च ||

"And the next moment she saw a person clad in red with a diadem on his head,

With a body of large proportions and effulgent like the bright sun.

Dark in colour, with blood shot eyes, he carried a noose and was terrific to behold.

And he stood near Sathyavan and stared at him ceaselessly.

Yama threw his noose around Sathyavan's neck and commanded his soul to come along. And behold, a tiny Sathyavan, the size of one's thumb, jumped out from his mortal body and attached to Yama's noose . The moment the tiny figure (the soul of Sathyavan) came out, Sathyavan's breathing stopped all of a sudden. His body lost its luster and he slumped down. The earthly life of Sathyavan had ended. Jumping up on his buffalo, Yama was about to start, when Savithri called out, "Dharmaraja, don't you think it is too young for him to die?"

Now, Yama was shocked. He was never visible to the eyes of a mortal and yet here she was, calling out to him like as though he stood in plain sight. Deeply impressed by Savithri's greatness, Yama said "Oh princess, I am visible to you only by the virtue of you being a true Pathivratha. But I have work to be done. You husband Sathyavan was a great man. He will find eternal happiness in my kingdom. By his virtues alone does he have the fortune of losing his soul to me rather than my emissaries. Go forth and prepare for your lord's funeral. You are free from all your obligations to Sathyavan." Saying so, he turned south, the direction of his kingdom.

Savithri left the body of Sathyavan alone and started to follow Yama. Yama's buffalo charged through the thick woods. Savithri followed them, with much difficulty, her soft feet subjected to the torture of the sharp stones on the forest floor. Yama was impressed again by her perseverance, "You cannot follow him to the lands of death. Turn back now", he bellowed.

Savithri calmly replied, "Just as it is your duty to take the life of my husband, so is it mine to stay by him, come what may. While taking the seven steps around the sacred fire, this is what I swore to do, to the end of my life. By virtue of my asceticism, my regard for the elders, my love for my lord, my observance of religious vows and by your own favour, this course of mine will be unimpeded."

Yama was really awed by her loyalty. "That duty of yours is at an end. However, I am highly impressed by your sense of duty. I shall grant you one boon, but not the life of your husband."

 "Then let my father-in-law regain his lost kingdom and let both my in-laws regain their sense of sight again." demanded Savithri.

"Given", said Yama and continued on his journey. Savithri, however still followed him. As they crossed a river bed, the thorns and shrubs at the bank parted to allow Yama through. Savithri on the other hand got her clothes torn and her body pricked by the vicious thorns. Yama was now getting concerned. "You have come far enough, Savithri. You look weary from the journey. Desist anymore efforts to follow me and return back." he said, his voice more mellow.

"You say that my husband will find eternal happiness in your kingdom, but oh protector of Dharma, do you fail to realize that you are taking my happiness with you too? Just as Seetha followed Raama to lead the hard life of the forest, so will I too follow my lord. What weariness can I feel when I am in the company of my virtuous lord? Being in the company of the righteous is the most pious of all tasks and hence I will part him not." Savithri pleaded.

"Your love is commendable. But death is natural. Even love has to bend to some power. Your devotion to your husband pleases me. Ask me one more boon, but the same rule applies - not the life of Sathyavan." offered Yama.

"Then, let my father have many more offspring who may rule his kingdom justly after his time has come", asked Savithri.

"Well, your father will have a hundred more valiant sons to carry on his generation. They will rule his kingdom and take it to greater heights. Now, I ask of you, please turn back."

Yama now started climbing up a steep mountain. His buffalo seemed to float in the air and in no time he was gliding over the mountain slope. Savithri followed him yet again. She huffed and puffed up the hilly region and finally at the very summit, when Yama turned back, he was aghast to see Savithri right on his tail, sweat streaked and panting.

"Savithri", he shouted, "You have reached the limits of the mortal kingdom. I forbid you from coming any further."

Savithri confronts Yama

"Whatever you say, Dharmaraja, my heart refuses to leave Sathyavan. Oh Vaivasvata (Yama is the son of Vaivasvat), who deals out equal justice to all of creation, do listen to me. One does not have enough confidence in oneself as one does in the righteous. Hence does everyone wish for a particular intimacy with the righteous. It is the goodness of the heart which inspires the confidence of all creatures. And it is for this reason that people rely on the righteous and I rely on my lord", said Savithri

"You will not come further", said Yama, his voice laced with vexation, "But I have never heard such wise words from any other soul, save you. I will grant you one last wish for your courage, your firmness in the face of death and your timeless wisdom. Ask what you may, except… aah you know it."

"Then, Oh King of Dharma, may the clan of my father in-law grow through me. Let them have the happiness of seeing a hundred strong and powerful grandchildren, who may perpetuate their race."

"Thathaasthu" said Yama, granting her wish and turned back southwards.

"Then, Oh bestower of honours", voiced Savithri, "return my husband back to me, for the boon that you have just granted me is incapable of accomplishment without my union with my husband. Deprived of my husband, I am as good as dead. Without my husband I do not wish for happiness. Without my husband, I do not wish for heaven itself. Without my husband, I cannot make up my mind to live. You yourself have granted me the boon of a hundred sons and yet you take away my husband. How can my in-laws have a hundred grandchildren through me, if their son, i.e. my husband, is not alive? Keep up your words, Yama Dharma Raaja", she ended, her voice triumphant.

Yama's jaws dropped down several inches. The clever girl, he thought. Turning back, he untied his noose and released Sathyavan's soul. "Savithri, your wits are as sharp as your will. May you lead a happy life with Sathyavan. Along with you, he will live on this earth for four hundred years, free of disease and grief. He will attain wide fame, as will your hundred sons through him. At the end of your times, you will be guided to the eternal happiness of my kingdom. Dheerga Sumangali Bhava (Long live your husband)!!!"

Savithri bowed to Yama and praised him as the true protector of dharma. Yama then entered his legion leaving Savithri to hurry back to Sathyavan. The ash-colored body of Sathyavan was fast regaining colour and Savithri reached Sathyavan's body under the tree to find him gently breathing. Sathyavan woke up as though from a deep nap and was amazed by the time for which he had slept. Gently chastising Savithri for her delay in waking him, he led her towards the aashrama.

The story ends with them both making their way back to the aashrama. There, Savithri recounted her adventurous day to all the assembled rishis and her parents-in-law. True to Yama's words, the blind king regained had already regained his sight. The very next day a convoy from his kingdom came to inform him of the death of the enemy. Dyumatsena was once again crowned the king of his rightful lands. Ashvapathi's queen Malavi gave birth to a hundred more valiant sons, who later came to be famous as the Malavas.

Sathyavan became the king in due course and begot a hundred sons through Savithri. At the end of their 400-year-lives, they were escorted into Yamapuri with all due respects, where they lived on happily for eons together.

Thus ends the saga of Savithri - the reason for her being catapulted into stardom among all married women. She not only exalted herself, but also her parents, her parents-in-law and the entire race of her husband. The vrathaa that Savithri observed for the entire year before her encounter with Yama, is what is today observed as the Kaaradayaan Nonbu (Wish they observed it like Savithri did – would have gotten to eat Kaaradais for breakfast every day :) ). 

உருகாத வெண்ணையும் ஓரடையும்

On the day of the festival, the women folk of the house get up at the crack of dawn and after their pious ablutions, set up a Kalasha in the worship-hall. The Kalasha is adorned with fresh blossoms, glittering jewels and new garments, and is revered as Shri Gowri, the holy Mother. The women then sit in front of this decorated Kalasha and sing the praises of Gowri. Sometimes, they even read out the story of Savithri. Then after all the customary songs and stories, each woman of the household places one Kaaradai, one Kozhukattai, one betel leaf, a betel nut, and a fruit of her choice in front of the Kalasha, and finally offers a dollop of butter on the Kaaradai. When everyone has had their due turn, they all prostrate to the goddess and chant unanimously:

உருகாத வெண்ணையும் ஓரடையும் நான் நூற்றேன்.

ஒருகாலும் என் கணவர் என்னை விட்டு பிரியாதிருக்கவேண்டும்

"With un-melted butter and one Adai, I take my vows to thee,

At no point of time should my lord ever be separated from me."

The Kaaradai is then distributed to everyone as the prasad and I tell you, it is super yummy. The women also tie a turmeric-soaked-thread around their wrist as a mark of the completion of the Nonbu. The thread is not supposed to be removed until the next Kaaradayaan Nonbu. All the women then prostrate before their husbands and elders, asking them for their blessings (It would be more apt the other way round, after all that they go through). The Nonbu then ends with a grand feast for the entire household and all the invited guests, where delicious vegetarian food is served.

And so I believe live the men-folk of India - by the prayers of their devoted wives. I am sure that they would be totally lost were it not for the many Savithris, who make up a good size of our population. Whatever maybe, I have not eaten my due share of Kaaradais this year too and that is my matter of concern at the present.

P.S.

1. The Devi Bhaagavatham contains additional details of Savithri's conversation with Yama, where they discuss Karma, the duties of our Jeevaatmas, the fruition of one's Karmas and other such esoteric topics. In fact, the Devi Bhaagavatham version is more about the Savithri-Yama dialogue rather than Sathyavan regaining his life. Yama then preaches to Savithri, the Mula Prakrti Mantra, for which Savithri conveys her gratitude to Yama in eight beautiful slokas. These eight verses are today chanted as Yamaashtakam by the pious and the spiritual.

यमाष्टकमिदं नित्यं प्रातरुत्ताय यः पटेत्

यमात् तस्य भयं नास्ति सर्वपापात् विमुच्यते ||

"Those who read this Yamaashtakam every morning with true devotion,

Will lose the fear of death, and will be purified, by Yama, of all their sins.

 2. I hope everyone takes my choice of the post title in light jest. In no way is it meant to mock the devotion that every married Indian woman has towards her husband. I have the highest respect for all women (as can be inferred from several snide comments in my above post) and intend to keep it that way.