Pati-patni(husband & wife)

Courtesy:http://sanskritpearls.blogspot.com/search/label/Spouse%20%28%E0%A4%AA%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BF-%E0%A4%AA%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%80%29

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:

सन्तुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथैव च ।
यस्मिन्नेव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् ॥
- मनुस्मृति

Transliteration:
santuShTo bhaaryayaa bhartaa bhartraa bhaaryaa tathaiva cha |
yasminneva kule nityaM kalyaaNaM tatra vai dhruvam ||
- manusmRuti

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Only in a family in which, the wife is jubilant with her husband and so also the husband is exultant with his wife, there (resides) prosperity - (this), is incontrovertible!

Commentary:

True prosperity is not as much in abundance of wealth, as in abundance of happiness and peaceful existence.  When the ambiance is conducive for calmness of the mind, each member of the family shall have the mindset to reach their fullest potential!  If their energies are contained and contaminated in mundane in-differences, then there is neither time nor stamina to pursue their passions, nor is the rest of the family inspired to pursue in their arenas either.

How is such an ambiance established?  Who are instrumental in these circumstances being entrenched into the day to day lives of all those involved in the family?  It is the two main wheels of the vehicle, the husband and wife.  If they are at peace with each other, if they revel in the company of the other, if they are jubilant in the camaraderie of the other, the entire household runs smoothly!  That doesn't mean that there are no petty tiffs and tantrums along the way.  But they have figured out a way to rejoice each other, despite those hurdles!  Infact, it is those minor tussles that make the landscape beautiful :).

The poet says, in such a household, there is never a controversy that there is peace and prosperity, laughter and love, joy and jubilation!  May that be showered abundantly and bestowed generously on all!!

pada vigrahaH:
सन्तुष्टो भार्यया भर्ता भर्त्रा भार्या तथ एव च ।

santuShTo bhaaryayaa bhartaa bhartraa bhaaryaa tatha eva cha |

यस्मिन् एव कुले नित्यं कल्याणं तत्र वै ध्रुवम् ॥
yasmin eva kule nityaM kalyaaNaM tatra vai dhruvam ||

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
वित्तेन रक्ष्यते धर्मो विद्या योगेन रक्ष्यते
मृदुना रक्ष्यते भूपः सत्स्त्रिया रक्ष्यते गृहम्
- चाणक्य नीति

Transliteration:
vittena rakShyate dharmo vidyaa yogena rakShyate
mRudunaa rakShyate bhUpaH satstriyaa rakShyate gRuham
- chaaNakya nIti

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Virtue is protected by wealth; knowledge is guarded by practice; gentleness protects a king; a home is secured by an excellent lady.

Commentary:

Everyone and everything has a guarding factor! Wealth should be put to use for the protection of virtue. For example, giving is a virtue. But to give, one needs to have! The act of giving is hence executed with the aid of wealth.

It is not enough to earn and accumulate knowledge. Only when one put is to use and practices it on a daily basis, does his vidyaa get guarded. Else, his knowledge shall rust and lose the edge.

Gentleness protects a king! This one might sound a little strange. But it is yet true. Gentleness here, is towards his subjects. If he handles them gently, they are bound to obey him and come to respect him as well. He will make less enemies that way and can long rule his kingdom. Hence, a gentle demeanor protects the king.

The most important of all, is the basic unit of the society - a home! A home is what the lady makes it. She is the role model for the entire family, who takes care of the needs of everyone in the household. She instills values in them, disciplines the children, manages the health of all, keeps everyone on track, makes sure everyone's needs are met, every single day!

A well-versed lady knows what morals to teach the children. A well-rounded lady knows what kinds of foods to offer to her family. A well-grounded lady knows what are the priorities of the household and how to keep a level head as well. All these attributes certify her excellence! And such an excellent lady secures the home and gives everyone a safe haven. She brings out the best in everyone and everyone is confident in being what they are.

A woman can make or break the house. It is all in her hands!

pada vigrahaH:
वित्तेन रक्ष्यते धर्मः विद्या योगेन रक्ष्यते
vittena rakShyate dharmaH vidyaa yogena rakShyate

मृदुना रक्ष्यते भूपः सत्-स्त्रिया रक्ष्यते गृहम्
mRudunaa rakShyate bhUpaH sat-striyaa rakShyate gRuham

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
सन्तोषस्त्रिषु कर्तव्यः कलत्रे भोजने धने
त्रिषु चैव न कर्तव्यो अध्ययने जपदानयोः
- समयोचितपद्यरत्नमालिका

Transliteration:
santoShastriShu kartavyaH kalatre bhojane dhane
triShu chaiva na kartavyo adhyayane japadaanayoH
- samayochitapadyaratnamaalikaa

Meaning of the subhAShita:

There should have satisfaction in 3 (aspects) - wife, food, money. There should be no satisfaction in 3 (others) - learning, meditating, giving.

Commentary:

Same rule isn't applicable for all issues! Satisfaction is a strange thing. Having it in some aspects gives peace but having it in some others, hinders progress.

One should be happy and contented about his spouse, the food he gets to eat and the wealth he possesses. Dissatisfaction in these, leads to unrest and constant agitation towards acquiring something more or someone better! Moreover, these are not the factors that lead one towards the purpose of life. So, better be happy with what there is and work on the true quest of life.

But complacency and contentment should have no place when it comes to learning, meditating or giving. One can never say that, now he has learnt everything and is very satisfied with his knowledge base. Knowing everything good that there is to know can not happen until one is a jIvanmukta puruSha (a liberated soul)! So, never be satisfied with learning.

'I've put in this many hours, I'm done for the week' - language works only at the office. There is no end for meditation. Prayer is talking to God, but meditation is listening to Him! Meditation is not just chanting the name of the Lord with closed eyes. Having Him in the thoughts every step of the way, through every action, every minute, is constant meditation at work. There is no upper cap on how much meditation one has to do. Keep His thoughts going!

Giving, is the most selfless action, that reiterates to one that material possessions are temporary. To give, one has to be selfless and unattached. Both are beneficial for raising the soul to a platform closer to Him. Give heartily. There are people always who could use the help.

Be satisfied with thy fortune, but dissatisfied with thy intellect!

pada vigrahaH:
सन्तोषः त्रिषु कर्तव्यः कलत्रे भोजने धने
santoShaH triShu kartavyaH kalatre bhojane dhane

त्रिषु चैव न कर्तव्यः अध्ययने जप-दानयोः
triShu chaiva na kartavyaH adhyayane japa-daanayoH
Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
भ्रमन् सम्पूज्यते राजा भ्रमन् सम्पूज्यते द्विजः
भ्रमन् सम्पूज्यते योगी स्त्री भ्रमति विनश्यति
- चाणक्य नीति

Transliteration:
bhraman sampUjyate raajaa bhraman sampUjyate dvijaH
bhraman sampUjyate yogI strI bhramati vinashyati
- chaaNakya nIti

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Roaming makes a king venerable, roaming makes a brahmaNa honorable, roaming makes an ascetic revered. A woman (who) roams, perishes.

Commentary:

Another of the controversial verses!

If a king takes a tour of his country, he gets to see the state of affairs, first hand. It makes it easy for him to see which of the ranks is corrupt and which is sincere. He could take actions accordingly and make amends so that the country at large, benefits. A king who thinks about the welfare of his subjects is most certainly venerable.

When a brahmaNa (a learned man) takes a walk, he is doing his duty of spreading knowledge. It is his prime responsibility to educate the people and give them knowledge to face the different situations in life. So, he goes from place to place to do his duty. A dutiful brahmaNa is definitely honorable.

A yogI (ascetic) does not have any kind of possessions. If he is hungry, he goes from door to door, asking for food. In the process, if any householder has any spiritual questions, he answers them. He leads the householder in the right direction so that he leads a virtuous life. Hence, a wandering ascetic who is serving the society, is revered.

The last one, is a topic of controversy and concern. The first and foremost chore of the woman of the house is, providing moral, spiritual and physical stamina to her own family. She is the key role in shaping the most important and basic unit of the society - a family. When each family is shaped with care, the entire society automatically becomes refined and cultured. To execute her duties, she doesn't need to go anywhere! She has everyone right under her roof for that!! In today's society, women are working outside of home due to various reasons. This rule applies to such women too. Going out for their jobs - is not under scrutiny here. Especially those that work outside of their homes, have to do double duty and still deliver their duties at home. There is no substitute for their role as the lady of the house. They still have to nurture their children, instill strong values in them & cultivate good morals and ethics in the entire family. Last but not the least, she also has to nurture them with healthy and nutritious food which is the cornerstone for any kind of learning. These day to day chores take so much of her time that, she has no spare time at hand to wander off to some yonder land. Hence, if the lady is out on a stroll for no reason, some arena of her family and her duty is being affected.

In that case, how can the woman flourish and her family not perish? Hmm..., got to think about it...

pada vigrahaH:
भ्रमन् सम्पूज्यते राजा भ्रमन् सम्पूज्यते द्विजः
bhraman sampUjyate raajaa bhraman sampUjyate dvijaH

भ्रमन् सम्पूज्यते योगी स्त्री भ्रमति विनश्यति
bhraman sampUjyate yogI strI bhramati vinashyati

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
कुग्रामवासः कुजनस्य सेवा
कुभोजनं क्रोधमुखी च भार्या
मूर्खश्च पुत्रो विधवा च कन्या
दहन्ति चैतानि जनं विनाग्निम्
- सुभाषितरत्नसमुच्चय

Transliteration:
kugraamavaasaH kujanasya sevaa
kubhojanaM krodhamukhI cha bhaaryaa
mUrkhashcha putro vidhavaa cha kanyaa
dahanti chaitaani janaM vinaagnim
- subhaaShitaratnasamuchchaya

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Life in an ill-fated village, serving the evil, banal food, a wrathful wife, imbecile son, also a widowed daughter - these burn one without even the requirement of fire.

Commentary:

1. Living in unfavorable circumstance and conditions is not fun. Living around people who do not have any value for dharma is certainly not a pleasant thing.

2. When having to serve the evil, one has to kill his own conscience. There is no hell worse than having to fell ones inner voice and slug along life, under an evil doer.

3. All the efforts and endeavors one undertakes, is for the sake of his stomach. Whether he is rich or poor, at the end of the day, his efforts are to satiate his palette, one way or another. If that food is stale and unhealthy, that negates all his efforts so far. He would neither enjoy eating such food, nor does it assist in nurturing his health. It only aids in slowly killing the person.

4. A wife is the back bone of the household in many respects. She needs to be strong and yet pleasant. She serves as the shock absorber for the entire family. If it is not effective enough, the family doesn't get a cushion from calamities. If she is always wrathful and angry-faced, the husband cannot look forward to coming to a relaxing and peaceful place called home. Pleasantness of the wife is a very integral part of a successful household.

5. Any parent wants his children to prosper in life, even after they have passed on. In this regard, they equip their children with education, for, that alone is the tool for leading a happy life. What if the son is an imbecile and refuses to learn? The parents of such children suffer anxiety through out their lives.

6. No parent wants to see their offspring suffer any kind of pain. The smallest infliction on the child shakes them up. Then, how can parents see their daughter suffer the loss of her husband. That is a death sentence to her parents.

All these above circumstances are equated to death, or may be more. When a person dies, he is burnt on a pyre, with fire. But any of these above circumstances is capable of burning a person alive, even without needing fire.

Some of these circumstances are destiny. But whatever is within our control, shouldn't we take charge and make sure that our lives and those around us, are as happy as we can make it!

pada vigrahaH:
कुग्राम वासः कुजनस्य सेवा
kugraama vaasaH kujanasya sevaa

कुभोजनं क्रोध मुखी च भार्या
kubhojanaM krodha mukhI cha bhaaryaa

मूर्खः च पुत्रः विधवा च कन्या
mUrkhaH cha putraH vidhavaa cha kanyaa

दहन्ति च एतानि जनं विना अग्निम्
dahanti cha etaani janaM vinaa agnim

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
कार्येषु दासी करणेषु मन्त्री
रुपेषु लक्ष्मी क्षमया धरित्री
भोज्येषु माता शयनेषु रम्भा
षट्कर्मयुक्ता कुलधर्मपत्नी

Transliteration:
kaaryeShu daasI karaNeShu mantrI
rupeShu lakShmI kShamayaa dharitrI
bhojyeShu maataa shayaneShu rambhaa
ShaTkarmayuktaa kuladharmapatnI

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Servant in tasks, minister in execution, Godess Lakshmi in beauty, Mother Earth in forgiveness, mother in feeding, rambhaa in bed - union of (these) six actions is a dutiful wife.

Commentary:

At first sight, this seems like a chauvinistic verse. When one sees the meaning in depth, it really upholds the role of a wife to the highest order.

The wife serves as if a servant, for the whole household. From cooking to cleaning, dusting to moping, she doesn't have any reservations.

She is very able and clever, like a minister. She prudently executes the tasks of the family and organizes the house skillfully. She puts the available resources to good use and doesn't indulge wastefully in unwanted luxuries.

She is personification of Godess Lakshmi (Godess of wealth) herself in her beauty. Not because of the beautifying aids she uses, but because of her inner strength. Her integrity and chastity give that inner glow and command.

In forgiveness, she is mother earth. Mother earth is used as a simile for forgiveness because she bears the weight and brunt of all the good and bad on her. Likewise, a wife forgives, protects and also corrects, even the unpleasant aspects of her family.

In feeding the hungry, she is like a mother. She will go hungry but still feed her family.

She is a nymph (like Rambha) in satiating her husband.

A wife's qualities and her versatility, are truly epitomized in this shloka.

pada vigrahaH:
कार्येषु दासी करणेषु मन्त्री
kaaryeShu daasI karaNeShu mantrI

रुपेषु लक्ष्मी क्षमया धरित्री
rupeShu lakShmI kShamayaa dharitrI

भोज्येषु माता शयनेषु रम्भा
bhojyeShu maataa shayaneShu rambhaa

षट् कर्म युक्ता कुलधर्म पत्नी
ShaT karma yuktaa kuladharma patnI

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
विद्या मित्रं प्रवासेषु भार्या मित्रं गृहेषु च
व्याधितस्यौषधं मित्रं धर्मो मित्रं मृतस्य च
- चाणक्य नीति

Transliteration:
vidyaa mitraM pravaaseShu bhaaryaa mitraM gRuheShu cha
vyaadhitasyauShadhaM mitraM dharmo mitraM mRutasya cha
- chaaNakya nIti

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Knowledge is a friend when on journey; wife is the friend at home; medicine is the friend of the sick; virtue is the friend of the dead.

Commentary:

When on travel, knowledge is one thing one can carry with him painlessly. Knowledge is the one tool he can equip himself with, so that he knows how to deal on a foreign land.

At home, the one best friend a person can trust and rely upon, is his wife. She is the cornerstone of the family and can withstand any kind of weathering the family has to face.

For a sick person, medicine is the friend. The medicine may taste bitter, but it is in the person's best interest to gulp it down, as it is only going to make him feel better.

The virtuous deeds and actions performed during one's lifetime, act as friends after passing on. No amount of wealth, family or friends will accompany him beyond the graveyard. It is only his merits and demerits that will follow him and decide his path of onward travel.

Know thy friends at every step!

pada vigrahaH:
विद्या मित्रं प्रवासेषु भार्या मित्रं गृहेषु च
vidyaa mitraM pravaaseShu bhaaryaa mitraM gRuheShu cha

व्याधितस्य औषधं मित्रं धर्मः मित्रं मृतस्य च
vyaadhitasya auShadhaM mitraM dharmaH mitraM mRutasya cha

Sanskrit Pearl of the day:
अश्वस्य भूषणं वेगं मत्तं स्याद्गजभूषणम्
चातुर्यं भूषणं नार्या उद्योगं नरभूषणम्

Transliteration:
ashvasya bhUShaNaM vegaM mattaM syaadgajabhUShaNam
chaaturyaM bhUShaNaM naaryaa udyogaM narabhUShaNam

Meaning of the subhAShita:

Speed is a horse's adornment; jaggedness suits well for an elephant; prudence is an adornment for a woman; a profession is an adornment for a man.

Commentary:

A horse is known for its skill in running. No matter how fancy a horse's saddle and tack are, if the horse doesn't have speed, it is not very appealing. Speed, hence is the adornment for a horse. For an elephant, his intoxicated state suits well. That is when he accomplishes more tasks.

Similarly, prudence and skillfulness are very essential for a woman and a profession for a man. Here the call for adornments for man and woman are given for a reason, gender bias not necessarily one of them. In today's world where men and women are working as equals, this might seem outdated at first. Although women work outside the home, it is still not easy to accept an unemployed man. Similarly, if the woman of the house is not judicious about how the resources of the house are put to use, there isn't much of a chance for the family to prosper.

If one really gives it a thought, no matter what century or generation, certain chores are best executed as nature intended. Although one might enter into the faculty of the other, it is better to master in their own arena first and then step into the shoe of the other. In that case, wouldn't the basic adornments still remain the same!

pada vigrahaH:
अश्वस्य भूषणं वेगं मत्तं स्यात् गज भूषणम्
ashvasya bhUShaNaM vegaM mattaM syaat gaja bhUShaNam

चातुर्यं भूषणं नार्या उद्योगं नरभूषणम्
chaaturyaM bhUShaNaM naaryaa udyogaM narabhUShaNam