vara vara maamiyaar kazhutahi pOl aanaalaam

courtesy: Sri.Srinivasan

Once there lived a widow with her son and daughter-in-law (DIL). She was a very good and pious lady and was tortured by the DIL. From the sun rise to the late night she was forced to work for her son and DIL at the old age. The son was henpecked and spineless. As usual the DIL loved her mother and treated her like a queen. Mother of DIL, who was also a widow, used to torture this old lady along with her daughter because of the inability of the son. One day the matter reached its climax when the old lady due to her old age could not get up and perform the daily chores. In spite of her pleadings, she was driven out of the house, as the daughter was waiting for a chance to bring her mother to stay with her permanently.

The poor old lady was weeping and walked aimlessly and reached a spot near a pond. She saw the place was too dirty and cleaned it well. As she did not take any food, she swooned and lay there uncared. In the later part of the evening, she was woken up by two tender hands and she saw to her surprise a very beautiful angel. The angel asked her whether she cleaned the place for which the lady replied in affirmation. After learning from the lady her sad plight, the angel got her very tasty and good food and gave her a vessel from which any kind of food could be obtained. She also gave her a wonderful bag that would always produce gold coins, costly dresses, beautiful gems and anything wished. She turned the old lady into a strong built middle aged woman and asked her to go home, not to give the gifts to anyone and live peacefully. After her return, her son and daughter first did not recognize her but hearing the entire story they realized that it was the same old lady. They could not believe their eyes when the old lady showed them the gifts. The greedy DIL and her wicked mother wanted to get even better gifts and become very rich. They prepared very rich food, packed it and the wicked lady carried it to the same pond. As usual the spot was untidy with filth. This lady never bothered to clean. Instead she threw all the remnants of food she brought and made the place even worse. She also pretended to sleep. The angel appeared and woke her up. She thought it was someone and scolded it right and left. Then she suddenly realised that it was the same angel but did not apologise for her bad behaviour. Instead, she demanded that she should also be given better gifts. The angel got furious and touched the lady with its magic wand telling that by the time she reaches her home back she will turn into a donkey. If her daughter and son-in-law (SIL) misbehaved with the poor lady, they would also become pigs and have endless suffering. On hearing this, the wicked lady got afraid and begged its pardon. The angel being compassionate told her that she would return to herself after two weeks if she treated everyone with compassion and in a pleasant manner. Thereafter, she should never behave badly with anyone. She was also asked to convey this to the other two wicked persons. Then the angel disappeared. The wicked lady started to return home. Slowly she was turning into a donkey with long ears and face and hoarse voice. By the time she reached the place, she became a full fledged donkey.

Her daughter and SIL could not recognise her as she was only braying. Then the angel appeared and told the son that it was his mother-in-law (MIL) and cautioned them to behave properly. Thus, the saying "vara vara mAmiyAr kazhudai pOl AnALAm

This is just a story. The moral of the story is Thethat one must be compassionate and well behaved whether it is a DIL, Son, Daughter, MIL, FIL or SIL. It cautions girls who never treat their MILs as their own mothers or the MILs who torture their DILs isor the sons and DILs failing in their duty to treat their parents/in-laws respectfully. As suggested, it may also be true that a MIL coming to stay with her son will be slowly overburdened with chores by the DIL and treated like a donkey. That is why, once your son gets married, leave him to take care of his family to rear his children as you did bring him up and never do babysitting. Similarly, a mother must know that once her daughter gets married, she should never poke in all her affairs or interfere even if the daughter tries to contact her daily. The daughter must also know that once she gets married, she should treat her in-laws as her parents and her husband's house as her own house.