Insults & replies

When Insults Had Class
 
{When Insults Had Class (no foul language, of course). These elegant insults are from an era when dexterity with words was still valued, before a considerable amount of the English language was taken over by American slang, and even got boiled down sometimes to just, plain, 4-letter words}!
--------
 
The immortal exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it!'
 
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'ayou, asir, will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.' 
 
 
'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill
 
'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill
 
 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure'. - Clarence Darrow
 
'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (of Ernest Hemingway). 

 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' - Ernest Hemingway (of William Faulkner)
 
'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas
 
 
'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain
 
'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde
 
'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....

 if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill.
 
'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop
 
'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright
 
'I've just learned of his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb
 
'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others' - Samuel Johnson
 
'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating
 
 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' Jack E. Leonard
 
 
 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed
 
'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'  - Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
 
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' - Mark Twain
 
'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West
 
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'  - Oscar Wilde
 
'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. ' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

knr

--
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.

 Every moment, thank God