Humour

DON'T OUTSMART A LAWYER

A butcher saw a Lawyer passing by his shop one day, and asked him: Atty., what would you do if a dog came in and stole your meat? Lawyer replied: why? of course, I'll make the owner pay for it! The butcher said: If that is so, now you owe me $15 because it is your dog. The Lawyer replied: very well, just deduct the $15 from the $25 you owe me for the advice, I'll collect the remaining $10 the next time I pass by here.
 
• Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman

After Marriage: Gentleman

After 10 years: Watchman

After 20 years: Doberman

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• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

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• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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• How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

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• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

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• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.

A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

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• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

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• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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• Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

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• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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• On John's birhtday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home John said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

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• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

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• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)

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• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

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• Lady to her maid: " Oh Lucy, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

Lucy :" I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

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knr
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If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.

 Every moment, thank God