दोष परिहाराष्टकं - 5
DOSHA PARIHARA ASHTAKAM – 8 VERSES
VERSE 4
यः संश्रिताः स्वहित धीर व्यसनातुरस् तद् – दोषस्य तं प्रति वचोSस्तु तदन्य दोषाम् ।
यद् वच्मि तन मम न किं क्षतये स्वदोष –चिन्तेव मे तदपनोद फलोचिताSतः ॥ 4॥
Sri Sridhara Ayyaval says that O Lord Siva, please help me to never be pointing out defects of others under any circumstances. I have no right to talk about the defects of others and if I do it will lead to my great downfall. I should be talking about a person's defects to him only when he comes to me considering me as his well-wisher and fulfills any one of the following conditions :
1. Yassamshritah - The person has approached me for guidance. He comes for help as a student, children, who has come under my shelter or who needs my advice very badly.
2. Sva-hitadhih - He is interested to correct his doshas and has given me permission to point out. He has a sincere desire to remove his shortcomings and feels that I have the ability to assist him.
3. Vysanaturah - He is really suffering and is in extreme difficulty due to the dosha which he has and is not able to come out of the pain that he is facing without my assistance.
If any of the above condition is fulfilled, I am entitled to talk about the defect only to that person as he has given me permission to talk about his defect. He is not going to feel hurt with my effort and also he needs my support to remove his dosha. Other than in the above three circumstances, I shall not be talking about defects of others.
Sri Ayyaval says, who will give such a permission to me ? Normally, even my own family people will talk for hours about my doshas only and not theirs. None of us are ready to listen or face our own doshas and try to rectify the situation. We have absolutely no right whatsoever to find fault with other people, unless one of the above conditions apply.
O Lord Shiva, let me learn that If I talk about the defects of the other person to a third person, it is going to pollute my mind, bring me harm and my own downfall – Tad anya dosham vachmi – Tan mama kim kshataye. I have only one option – if at all I have to think and talk of doshas of anybody, Oh Siva – doshaive chintaiva me- I must think and talk of doshas of only one blessed person in the whole world and that blessed person is ME and the doshas are MINE alone.
But the author gives one kind advice. There are some people, who always think about their doshas and in the process develop guilt, inferiority complex, frustration, depression, anger in oneself which will damage their personalities and bring sadness in their life. Therefore – tad-apanodaphala uchitaatah- after locating the doshas, one must introspect and ponder over – How should I remove my doshas and what help that I should seek ? When you need help, seek help and that is intelligent living !! I should arrive at methods that I should adopt to eliminate my shortcomings ? Instead of condemning myself, I should look for solutions to become pure and nirdosha. To feel that I am inferior and helpless is not a healthy thinking and will take us nowhere.
I must progress and grow in emotional maturity by removing the doshas at the earliest possible.
The thinking must be, I have got such and such a defect and how can I eliminate that. Instead of condemning myself, I shall constantly think about solutions by deep introspection and immediate action. If the recognition and awareness of one own blemishes are used to eradicate those blemishes, it is a very healthy and a proper attitude.
One has to work on to remove the problem and that is definitely possible with practice of persistent effort (abhyasa) and objectivity of seeing the value with detachment (vairagya). Asamsayam maha-baho mano durnigraham calam, abhyasena tu kaunteya vairagyena ca grhyate. BG 6/35. Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita -it is undoubtedly very difficult to handle the restless mind, but it is possible by constant practice and by detachment. As the saying goes, first you make the habit, then the habit makes you.
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