Nice definitions

*SUPERB_ Definitions*

*_Wonderfully described definitions......._*

*CIGARETTE:*
A pinch of tobacco 
rolled in paper 
with fire at one end 
and a fool at the other!

*MARRIAGE:*
It's an agreement 
wherein 
a man loses his bachelor degree 
and a woman gains her master

*LECTURE:*
An art of transmitting Information 
from the notes of the lecturer 
to the notes of students 
without passing through the minds 
of either

*CONFERENCE:* 
The confusion of one man 
multiplied by the 
number present

*COMPROMISE:*
The art of dividing 
a cake in such a way that 
everybody believes 
he got the biggest piece

*TEARS:*
The hydraulic force by which 
masculine will power is 
defeated by feminine water-power!

*DICTIONARY:*
A place where divorce comes 
before marriage

*CONFERENCE ROOM:*
A place where everybody talks, 
nobody listens 
and everybody disagrees later on

*CLASSIC:*
A book 
which people praise, 
but never read

*SMILE:*
A curve 
that can set 
a lot of things straight!

*OFFICE:*
A place 
where you can relax 
after your strenuous 
home life

*ETC:* 
A sign 
to make others believe 
that you know 
more than 
you actually do

*COMMITTEE:* 
Individuals 
who can do 
nothing individually 
and sit to decide 
that nothing can be done 
together

*EXPERIENCE:*
The name 
men give 
to their 
Mistakes

*ATOM BOMB:* 
An invention 
to bring an end 
to all 
inventions

*DIPLOMAT:*
A person 
who tells you 
to go to hell 
in such a way 
that you actually look forward 
to the trip

*OPPORTUNIST:*
A person 
who starts taking bath 
if he 
accidentally falls 
into a river

*MISER:*
A person 
who lives poor 
so that 
he can die RICH!

*FATHER:*
A banker 
provided by 
nature

*CRIMINAL:*
A guy 
no different 
from the other, 
unless he gets caught

*BOSS:*
Someone 
who is early 
when you are late 
and late 
when you are early

*POLITICIAN:* 
One who 
shakes your hand 
before elections 
and your Confidence 
Later

*DOCTOR:* 
A person 
who kills 
your ills 
by pills, 
and kills you 
by his bills!